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Joke of the Day

"Don't mind me. Just over here shaking my phone like a Magic 8-Ball, trying to get the screen to rotate back."

"How do you make Polish sausage ? First you gotta find a retarded pig..."

"What do you call a fat North Korean? Supreme Leader."

"Did you hear about that boxer who adopted a child from Asia? It's Mike's Thai Son."

"Please don't tell 9/11 jokes today they're just plane wrong."

"Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen."

"If you want to hide a gift for your husband, just put it in the pantry with one thing in front of it."

"Whenever I'm bored I stop a stranger and ask ""where am I?"" and whatever they say I runaway screaming ""Hahaha I'm a genius! I can teleport!"""

"Failure is not falling down, it is not getting up again."

"Kill the man Cop: ""Did you kill this man?"" Me: ""No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."""