164739

Joke of the Day

"How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light-bulb? ""Go fuck yourself!"""

"Honestly sometimes I STILL think about how dope it is that I don't have any homework."

"I saw two blokes having a fight... I shouted, ""My money's on the one with the knife!"" You should have seen how fucking fast they both ran off."

"If I had an email for every Hillary Clinton joke being made right now I'd have none."

"The early bird gets the worm... but the second mouse gets the cheese!"

"The world would be a better place if we all stuck together. But it would be harder to go to the bathroom."

"They should just draw a fart on the car A/C ""recirculate"" button."

"Just itched my crotch while trying to swat a fly and four people told me I was a good dancer."

"I bought my epileptic friend a strobe light for his birthday. He's going to have a fit when he sees it."

"Pinatas are a great way to show kids that using assault with a deadly weapon is a fun way to get what they want."