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Joke of the Day
"Boss just announced he is leaving early. What a coincidence. So am I."
Next Joke
"I just got kicked out of my local Laser Tag and the police were called. Apparently stabbing somebody to save ammo is not allowed."
"Pharmacist: Don't take this while driving and make sure you eat- *crushes pill and snorts off the counter* ""Ok"""
"""Ok just so I'm clear on this - this dog can bark for 11 hrs straight & only poops in other people's yards? I'll take it!"" - my neighbor"
"I always arrive late at the office... ... But I make up for it by leaving early."
"Umlaut is a pretty fancy word for what are basically just little letter nipples."
"I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?"
"TIFU By forgetting my wife was allergic to seafood when I got her supper from Subway Woops, wrong Sub."
"When your momma taught you to look both ways she didn't mean be two faced."
"I've been tanning I'm getting so dark I'm afraid of getting shot by the police"