212613

Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: why did you leave your last job? Me: hmm that's a tough one. I guess I'd probably have to say listening is my biggest strength"

"Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad"

"My roommate gets angry when I steal their kitchen utensils It's a whisk I'm willing to take"

"Before 9 AM on a workday, ""Do Not Disturb"" and ""Donut Disturb"" should mean the same thing."

"I'M RAGING AGAINST THE MACHINE! Okay, I'm just frustrated with this copier, but I sighed pretty loud, so I think it knows how I feel!"

"I want to leave this world the way I entered it... By accident!"

"What's the difference between a horse and a zebra? A lawyer."

"Why did Hitler commit suicide? ...he got the gas bill"

"How do we know that hamburgers love classic music? They're often found at the Meatropolitan Opera House and Cownegie Hall!"

"If you mention ""leg day"" on a first date we will not be going on a second date"