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Joke of the Day

"I always arrive late at the office... ... But I make up for it by leaving early."

"I like to dump Skittles in the toilet and then flush it 'cuz it looks like a little tiny NASCAR race."

"One of my peers asked me where I saw myself in 5 years. After struggling to come up with an answer, I decided to go get laser eye surgery. Now I've got 2020 vision...."

"A joke from 1892 ""...one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."""

"Husband: What would you do if i won the lottery? Wife: I'd take half and leave. Husband: Well here's $6 and you can start packing anytime now."

"Why did the human cross the road? Because his dick was stuck in the chicken."

"What's the difference between the Mafia and the Government. One of them is organised."

"The Three Laws of Secure Computing 1) Don't buy a computer. 2) If you do buy a computer don't plug it in. 3) If you do plug it in sell it and return to step 1."

"City Life At first I was Ern(e)st and Young, but then became Standard and Poor: yet when I got broody I was rated as Moody, loosing my triple A score"

"I saw a sign at a highschool advertising anal ogies I was confused until I saw handwritten note saying that the printer couldn't print the letter ""R"""