163736

Joke of the Day

"A girl called me ""sir"" today and I was so angry I took off my suit of armor and stormed out of Medieval Times."

"Did you hear the amusement park was offering free bungee jumping? No strings attached!"

"How does every racist joke start? *looks around the room*"

"My daughter asked me if I know how to do the Running Man, like my generation didn't invent it. Anyway, that's what brings me to the ER."

"I'm doing a book signing at Barnes & Noble today. Nobody asked me to. It's not even my book."

"How does a young man make an old woman feel young again? Elixir"

"There's only one problem with North Korea's miracle cure for AIDS and Ebola: The directions say the medication must be taken with food."

"Dermatologist asked why I want my tattoo removed and looked at me like no one's ever said ""because it's my ex's Twitter handle"" before."

"Blonde girl changes her name She goes to the local court for it. Girl: I am tired of people calling me Pussy Galore. Judge: What do you want to change it to? Girl: Pussy McNamara."

"Kids and adults loved it so, the happy world of Harambe. #neverforget"