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Joke of the Day

"Admit it.... Sometimes you just wish you could read your crushes mind to find out how they feel about you?"

"I'm introducing a new calendar system: B.C. = Before Children. A.D. = After Divorce."

"My friend was getting an HIV test and he was worried, so I just gave him some advice. Stay Positive."

"How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future."

"I wanted to have a threesome... but then i realized, if I wanted to disappoint two people at the same time I'd just have dinner with my parents."

"I got a job at an orange juice factory I couldn't concentrate so I was canned"

"I bought some Velcro shoes so that nobody can make fun of my velcro wallet anymore because now they will match"

"Quoting famous dead people on the internet is stupid. ~Confucius"

"Next time someone wants you to hold a baby, say ""I'm so bad with live babies!"""

"Chuck Norris was banned from competing in the National Karate Championship. Everyone he competed with the year before ended up in the Special Olympics."