159957

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the amusement park was offering free bungee jumping? No strings attached!"

"Did you want to row or paddle? Either oar..."

"""Talk to the hand!"" - deaf people"

"I vacuumed up a huge spiderweb & then heard a thump in the workout room. The spiders are lifting weights before they attack me aren't they?"

"Reddit is like a box of chocolates It's the same shit over and over"

"Why couldn't the ex-CIA agent leave Russia? Because he was Snowden"

"Are you dylsexic? Probably."

"What do vampires cross the sea in? Blood vessels."

"The worst part about spring... Getting sued by the Fine Brothers for having an allergic reaction."

"So i recently came over my ex... Hit her right in the eye! Sorry."