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Joke of the Day

"Dermatologist asked why I want my tattoo removed and looked at me like no one's ever said ""because it's my ex's Twitter handle"" before."

"Damn girl, are you my cable remote? Because you are weirdly designed and very confusing, and does this row of buttons even do anything?"

"What do you call a pepper on a string that comes back to you? A Jalapenyo-yo"

"Pretty rude of you to have a crush on someone else when I've done absolutely nothing to show I'm attracted to you."

"Roses are red Violets aren't ferns Since I've been with you When I pee it burns."

"The comedian made an entire audience laugh without speaking a single word No joke"

"Give me a few strong men, and I'll build a nation. Give me a few hot women, and I'll conquer the world."

"Whats the difference between an onion and a hooker? I dont cry when I cut up a hooker"

"Bank robbers give a bad name to people who just want to deposit their check with a mask on."

"Q: What goes VROOM SCREECHVROOM SCREECHVROOM SCREECH? A: A blonde going through a flashing red light."