35988

Joke of the Day

"There's only one problem with North Korea's miracle cure for AIDS and Ebola: The directions say the medication must be taken with food."

"He was such a brutal fighter that, after slaying the tigress in the arena, he proceeded to devour her flesh. And he felt no remorse. He was Gladiator."

"Why did the blonde starve to death? Her new phone came with a little packet in the box that said, ""Do not eat."""

"What is an electricians favorite type of news Current events"

"As you take another breath, someone takes their last. Stop complaining; appreciate life."

"I'm building an exercise machine for Ray and Dave Davies. I'm still working out the kinks."

"Me: I bet you die before you figure out how to text me back. *3 years later* Grandma: Fuck you bitch. Say bye to your inheritance"

"A real man can feel embarrassed only two times in his life... the first time when he can't manage the second time, and the second time when he can't manage the first time."

"North Korea new leader After Kim Jong Un dies, North Korea will be ruled by his son, Kim Jong Deux."

"What do cows get when they do all their chores? Mooney."