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Joke of the Day
"Poured my cat some almond milk & now she has bangs & drives a Prius."
Next Joke
"How does Harry Potter like his sandwiches to be cut ? Diagon alley"
"Valve Half-life 3 confirmed"
"My wife's favorite position is the one where I lie very still wearing nothing but a toe tag and she starts dating again."
"I wish my lawn was emo Then it would cut itself."
"What do fat girls and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans."
"Why does the murder no longer use axe? Because he realized it can't wash away his sins"
"Have you seen the movie constipated? It hasn't come out yet."
"What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam."
"Height of complement - Lol Wife: ""I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"" Husband: ""You have perfect eyesight."""