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Joke of the Day

"My wife's favorite position is the one where I lie very still wearing nothing but a toe tag and she starts dating again."

"In light of all the recent blond jokes... Why are blond jokes so short? So men can remember them."

"What would To Kill a Mockingbird be called if Harper Lee was an alcoholic? Tequila Mockingbird."

"What do the Mafia and vaginas have in common? One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit"

"A German lands in Paris... Upon having his passport verified, the French officer asks him: -Occupation? -Oh, no no, just visiting!"

"When your date asks about your hobbies, DON'T grab her table knife in a napkin and say, ""Collecting knives with strangers' prints on them."""

"Some days you're the Titanic, some days you're the iceberg and some days you're that guy who hit the propeller on the way down."

"Donald trump wins presidency"

"There's a new app that tells you which of your friends are racist. It's called Facebook."

"Don't you hate when someone has a great tweet idea, but they TOTALLY fuck up the wording, and it's you?"