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Joke of the Day

"Why don't you make fun of a fat girl with a lisp? She's probably thick and tired of it."

"I have made nothing but horrible decisions ever since I had my wisdom teeth taken out."

"I saw a group of children crying during my visit to Kiev so I said, ""What Ukraine for?"""

"What is the most popular vehicle in South America? They drive alpacars."

"What do you call it when a deer and a rabbit runaway together? Jackaloping"

"When my car starts making weird noises I just assume it's becoming a Transformer."

"My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence."

"Yesterday my girlfriend started to smoke... So I slowed down and added some lube."

"What did the ruthless businessman say to his employees? If at first you don't succeed - you're fired!"

"A nice way to tell someone their breath stinks, ""well I'm bored,let's go brush our teeth"" in mid convo"