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Joke of the Day
"I have made nothing but horrible decisions ever since I had my wisdom teeth taken out."
Next Joke
"Why is James Bond's favourite bartender played by Michael J Fox? He doesn't need to tell him to shake the martini."
"2 guys walk into a bar The 3rd guy ducks"
"If you like to spoon, you'll love to spatula. That's where I flip you over to make certain you're done properly on both sides."
"A N U S B U T T M U F F ~ My reply when the optometrist asks me to read the lower lines, regardless of what I see"
"What's the difference between Iron Man and iron woman? Iron Man is a superhero. Iron woman is a command."
"I needed to clean my FleshLight, i heard they were dishwasher safe. But that would Just ruin the load."
"Did I tell you about the time I was going down on my grandmother? All I could taste was horse semen... So I thought to myself, ""this must be how she died!"""
"*overeats sugar* *gets diabetes* *gets limbs amputated* *can finally smile authentically in pics now that not worried what to do with hands*"
"I called into a suicide hotline And they tried to save my life, talk about misleading."