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Joke of the Day

"Yesterday my girlfriend started to smoke... So I slowed down and added some lube."

"Whats the difference between a dirts bus stop and a crab with big boobs? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean."

"Think about the nicest thing anyone's ever said about you. Not really true, right?"

"The two most popular gifts women receive on Valentine's Day are a box of things that make her fat and a bouquet of things she can watch die."

"TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure indigestion."

"I bet nobody noticed Superman flying around at first, so Clark just started pointing out every bird and plane until it caught on"

"My mum's bf hates when I shorten his name to 'Dick'. Mainly because his name is Matthew."

"""And if you look out to the left, you'll miss everything to the right. Remember, every choice is also a loss."" - Me as a tour guide"

"What happens when you spike Hawaiian Punch? It gets a lil' kick. :)"

"What's worse than having your doctor tell you that you have VD? Having your dentist tell you."