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Joke of the Day

"There are many effective ways of inviting me to your event but doing it on Facebook is definitely not one of them."

"Apparently someone in London gets stabbed every 72 seconds, Poor bastard."

"I saw a bunch of youths hitting an old lady. I stopped my car, wound down my window and yelled, ""Excuse me, that's my mother-in-law."" ""And what?"" they replied. ""And she's still moving."""

"I hate paying my income tax. You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? I'd like to but they insist on money"

"What did the host of an orgy say to his guests? I'm glad you all came!"

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways... Five."

"I have created a subreddit dedicated to all times that OP doesn't deliver The link is in the comments"

"How can you spell too much with two letters? XS (excess)."

"Someone broke into my house last night and left a note saying they'd broken one of my keyboard keys. I onder hich one."

"How did the love seat get pregnant? Because the couch didn't pull out."