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Joke of the Day

"That awkward moment when someone is cooking fish in the office and all the girls begin sniffing themselves."

"I don't know anything about golf... ...but I just watched it on TV for a couple minutes. It looks really easy. I'm sure I could get a very high score."

"What do Jewish kids say to their Christian friends at Christmas? Sorry we killed your saviour, can we play with his new toys."

"How many Brexiters does it take to change a lightbulb? Woah woah woah... I never said there was a lightbulb!"

"A King taught his son how to use the toilet today. Now they call him Prince Charmin."

"The kids are asking why I'm wearing sunglasses in the house today. Spiked their morning OJ with vodka so we are on the same page."

"At a restaurant I thought a family was praying at the table but then I realized they were all texting."

"This year for Christmas you are getting jeans with the pockets cut out. So you can have clothes and something to play with."

"[police lineup] Cop: Do you see the guy who ate your plants? Me: Nope Cop: *waving leaf* Wildebeest step forward? WB: *drooling* Goddamnit"

"Hey girl , is the cosine of you positive? Cos you're acute angle."