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Joke of the Day

"How many perverts does it take to put in a lightbulb? Just one, but it takes a doctor and two nurses to get it out."

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"Why do mules not work as hard as horses? Because they're half-assed!"
"Q: Which is harder to make? A blonde brunette or a red-headed snowman? A: A blonde because you have to hollow out its head"
"When is a door not a door? When it's ajar!"
"When I was younger I wanted to rule the world. Now I just want to spell words close enough that autocorrect can figure out what I'm saying"
"""God damn it son. I'm not made out of honey!"" - Father bee to son bee."
"WATSON: do you even have a proper education? SHERLOCK: Elementary, my dear Watson WATSON: but, like, beyond that SHERLOCK: nah"
"I don't want to sound too impressive, but my Sims character gets laid PRETTY FREQUENTLY."
"Why are drums a fire hazard? Because they're flam-able. Ba-da Bum tsss."
"What is a priest's favorite snack? Little boysenberries."