38221

Joke of the Day

"The kids are asking why I'm wearing sunglasses in the house today. Spiked their morning OJ with vodka so we are on the same page."

"Did you hear about the white supremacists chemist with a lisp? He was so radium carbon iodine thorium he joined the potassium potassium potassium."

"Air and sex Q: Why is air a lot like sex? A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any."

"What do you call it when you can't see your skin? Pore resolution"

"Why did the sea-monster eat 5 ships filled with potatoes? Because no one can eat just one potato ship."

"Did you hear about Prince? Well I mean the artist formerly known as Prince."

"Sometimes I make myself feel important by thinking in a British accent."

"Unlike many guys, I don't try to get into a lady's pants... ...mostly because they won't fit me, but also because they lack usable pockets. What's up with that aspect of fashion design, anyway?"

"When I was a kid we were so poor... If I didn't wake up at christmas with a hard-on I'd have nothing to play with."

"I'd get into a lesbian relationship just to mooch my girlfriend's hair care products."