39443

Joke of the Day

"How many Brexiters does it take to change a lightbulb? Woah woah woah... I never said there was a lightbulb!"

"A black man goes into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder... The bartender looks at the parrot and says, ""Wow! That's a beauty. Where'd you get him?"" The parrot replies, ""Africa""."

"The lord said unto John, ""Come forth and receive eternal life,"" but john came fifth and won a toaster."

"Why is Riot Fest going to be in Toronto? They play music, not hockey."

"Maybe money can't buy Happy but it can probably buy Dopey at a good price."

"What is the best place to hide a corpse? On the second page of Google"

"Women order the fuck out of coffee. ""Give me a chocolate mocha latte with 3 sugars, 2 Splendas, 4 elf pubes and 2 grams of pixie dust."""

"What's the difference between a blonde and a guy? The blonde has the higher sperm count."

"Who do penguins celebrate Hanukkah with? The Icebergs"

"If a soccer player falls in the forest and nobody is there to see it, do they still flail their arms and cry and act like a big dumb baby?"