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Joke of the Day

"""but what if I ask someone a question and they answer it"" - me sitting in my house too nervous to go to my neighbors party I was invited to"

"Hmmm... Jack Nicholson. He's that guy from the Laker's games right?"

"Did you hear about the prostitute who got fired for going on strike? She just didn't give a fuck."

"There are two types of people in this world. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data...."

"Knock Knock Kid: knock knock Dad: Who's there? Kid: Hatch Dad: Hatch who? Kid: Bless You."

"How do you turn a seal into a sea lion? Remove an electron."

"What do you call it when a redhead goes nuts? A ginger snap."

"Phones are fake They're phony."

"The ""Personal life"" section of my Wikipedia article is actually pretty accurate. It's non-existent."

"I don't even bother filling out the ""From"" field on gift tags during Xmas. One look at the wrap job, and its VERY obvious."