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Joke of the Day

"The ""Personal life"" section of my Wikipedia article is actually pretty accurate. It's non-existent."

"Last night I finally slept with a woman who has a Coke bottle figure. Unfortunately, she was a 3 liter."

"I had some extra money laying around I was going to invest in quick sand... ...but the deal fell through."

"Had a big mix up at the store today, apparently when the clerk said ""strip down facing me,"" she meant my credit card."

"What's a Jihadist Muslims least favorite sex position? The Eiffel tower"

"The French I can speak fluent french, watch this... ""I Surrender"""

"I dumped my blind fiance yesterday. She never saw it coming."

"What is the similarity between a projector and an ugly prostitute? Both work better with the lights off."

"A taser but for people who say ""it is what it is""."

"Donald Trump always looks like he's just opened a really hot oven."