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Joke of the Day

"I don't even bother filling out the ""From"" field on gift tags during Xmas. One look at the wrap job, and its VERY obvious."

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"A mosquito goes to a military base. The commanding officer says, ""Sorry, this is a 'no fly' zone."""
"What's brown and sticky? Parcel tape."
"Mid-'90s joke I just made up: Steven Tyler made a new version of Dude Looks Like A Lady... it goes ""Dude looks like his daughter!"""
"My new nickname at work should be ""Laxative"" cause I make sh*t happen."
"I love the way you move...like butter on a bald monkey."
"When I see a couple sharing the same facebook account I always want to ask them which one of you got caught having an affair"
"Why did Hitler want to rise in power? Because he wanted a Kaiser roll."
"""I just got a fruit juicer because they say juicing adds years to your life... ...What they don't tell you is the years you add juicing, you lose cleaning you juicer."" -Kyle Dunnigan-"
"Harambe and Cecil the Lion walk into a bar Bartender asks, ""What'll you have?"" They respond, ""Two shots, please."""
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