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Joke of the Day

"""A car I've never seen before just parked outside. We're gonna die CAN YOU HEAR ME Jesus Christ you're not listening to me I said..."" - Dogs"

"What did Will Smith say to Carleton when he asked if he was ready to leave their yoga class? Nah I'ma stay."

"Boss: you're late Me: traffic Carol: he was in his car taking selfies again Me: goddammit Carol, I will cut you"

"A Jewish joke (as told by Sigmund Freud) One Jew says to another, ""Have you taken a bath?"" The other replies: ""No. Is one missing?"" From *Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious*"

"I've got a chicken proof lawn It's impeccable"

"Why is the KKK a good place to find a job? Cos they'll always hook a brutha up"

"My friend asked me if her breath smelled like tacos. I said, ""I don't know, do you put shit in your tacos?"""

"My co-worker is so annoying... She's always showing me pictures of her daughter and always asking: ""Have you seen my baby?"" It's so annoying, come on, its been two years, they're never gonna find her."

"I invented a new word It's called plagiarism"

"What did the Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything"