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Joke of the Day

"Why is the space between a woman's chest and her hips called a waist? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there."

"I just saved a bundle on future college tuition by finding out my 4 year old wants to be a gum ball when he grows up."

"My girlfriend told me to take a spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer."

"I'm an 8 day old fetus And I believe music from the olden days is better than today's shit."

"My wife said that my 5 year old gets really hyper because of the sugar he has at breakfast so I think I'll stop putting it in his coffee."

"What's worse than giving Willie Nelson a blow job? Finding out it's not Willie Nelson"

"I have good taste, but I don't have the money to prove it."

"When I was young, sticking my tongue out to someone was like giving them the middle finger."

"as a kid, there really wasn't anything I wanted to be when i grew up. and boy have i nailed it."

"There are three kinds of people on this earth. Those who can count ... And those who can't."