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Joke of the Day
"as a kid, there really wasn't anything I wanted to be when i grew up. and boy have i nailed it."
Next Joke
"BBC News: Two pedestrians die in collision Fuck, how fast must they have been walking?"
"Coworker: ""How was your weekend?"" Me: ""You know, they killed Socrates because he asked too many questions."""
"A long joke JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE"
"Wait. What? You need two people for sex? What does the other one do?"
"Some people are just meant for each other. A sadist married a masochist. The masochist would say, ""Beat me!""... The sadist would say, ""...no"""
"Death: I've come for you. Me: That's what she said. D (bursts out laughing): You get me with that one every time! Ok, see ya."
"I'd rather see someone on the street coming towards me with a knife than a clipboard."
"I hate it when you're on the bus and the local weirdo get on and sits next to you. You know, the ones that watch you having a wank."
"[Woods] SNOW WHITE: Oh, what a lovely little house! GOLDILOCKS: [in ski mask] Beat it, sister. I've been scoping this place out for weeks."