86405

Joke of the Day

"My wife said that my 5 year old gets really hyper because of the sugar he has at breakfast so I think I'll stop putting it in his coffee."

"Ted said to his friend 'can you lend me $10?' 'But I only have $8' his friend replied. That's OK you can always owe me the other $2!"

"My mom keeps asking me who made a mess at the dinner table I spilled the beans"

"Q: What is the lightest thing in the world? A: A penis because just a thought can lift it."

"Ethiopian Cuisine... is a bit bland. It tastes like nothing."

"[tv announcer] Are you bloated? Tired? Unable to enjoy the activities you once loved? [me with mouthful of chips] YEAH"

"If I had no emotions, I don't know how I'd feel about it."

"I'm so sorry but what is a fedora wearer's favourite part in music? Me'lody"

"I went for a depression test. Came back negative."

"The first rule of breast club is you having them and that's good enough for me."