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Joke of the Day
"Particles make up everything! Fucking liars."
Next Joke
"Do you remember when your grandma was younger? Neither does she."
"*gets to front of unemployment line* yes I'd like to be unemployed"
"What does a triangular acorn say when it grows up? Geometry."
"I auditioned for a role in Star Wars: The Force Awakens Unfortunately, I was a white male."
"What do you call a pirate that pees on other people? Rrrrrrrrrrrr Kelly"
"[commercial for soup] Have you ever wanted to eat regular food only with water poured all over it? NARRATOR: SOUP"
"Bob and Sei are launching fireworks on the 4th of July. In an accident, Bob launches a firework into Sei's eye. Bob turns to Sei and says, ""Oh, Sei, can you see?"""
"What is a duck's favorite TV show ? The feather forecast !"
"My daughter: Do you want a kiss daddy? Me: Of course. My daughter: Does it make you sad that no other girls want to kiss you? Me: Thanks."