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Joke of the Day

"[airport security] *Beep* ""step through again, but don't say Beep."" *Alarm* ""Once more sir, but if u speak, I'll shoot u."" {thinks} *bzzt*"

"Pickup Lines Everyone says you're an Angel, but I think you're Medusa because whenever I stare into your eyes I turn rock hard. Do you like bad grades cause I can give you all the D's"

"There are 364 days until Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable...."

"I don't always go golfing, but when I do I bring two pairs of pants... ....in case I get a hole in one"

"Why do people in Beijing smoke so many cigarettes? To get a breath of filtered air."

"*I throw my hat into the ring* Oh you wanna fight do ya? *I throw my pants into the ring* Pal this is gettin' weird *I throw my skin into th"

"Doctor: tell me everything you told the nurse 5 minutes ago."

"I called German UPS to ask them when they would ship my Rift.. They said, ""VR ready."""

"I'm 2/3 virgin."

"What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson falling down the stairs."