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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: tell me everything you told the nurse 5 minutes ago."

"What do you call an Autobot who works in an overpriced makeup store at the mall ? Ulta Magnus!"

"I read an article that said to cheer up as adults, we should embrace things we loved as kids. So, when I am sad I hide in the shower and try to watch the babysitter pee."

"A giant porn conspiracy has been uncovered.... It was run by the illuminaughty"

"Did you hear about the Indian that drank 50 cups of Tea? He drowned in his Tea Pee."

"What is best to drink while eating Jewshi (Jewish sushi)? Oh, any kind of He-brew would be fine, I guess."

"According to the CDC, the leading cause of death in 2016 was having a career in the 80's that brought you any level of fame"

"Why didn't Bach buy his wife a new accordion? He couldn't afford it; he was ""Baroque""."

"Have you heard about the new store coming to the mall? It's a pretty *hot topic*."

"Apple fitness products don't work. I tried the iHop and it only made me gain weight."