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Joke of the Day

"Pickup Lines Everyone says you're an Angel, but I think you're Medusa because whenever I stare into your eyes I turn rock hard. Do you like bad grades cause I can give you all the D's"

"If you're famous and your name suddenly becomes a Twitter trending topic, you are probably dead."

"What did the little ghost give his mom for Mother's Day? A booquet of flowers."

"How do you re-use a condom? Turn it inside out, and shake the fuck out of it."

"Damn girl, are you a math book? Girl:No, why? Because you've got so many problems."

"How do you tell if your roommate is gay? If his dick tastes like shit."

"A young lady from my office just sent me an email saying ""ithinktherearesomeproblemswithmykeyboardcanyoupleasegivemeanalternative"" Oh boy am I excited, but what does ""ternative"" mean?"

"Kid: I want to give grandpa tickets to a Michael Jackson show! Dad: you can't, he's been dead for years now, and so is Michael Jackson."

"What do you call a pissed off german? Sauerkraut"

"Canadians would be chagrined to know how many Americans think a ""Vancouver"" is a big tarp for your VW microbus."