161088

Joke of the Day

"Why were the 5 gorgeous young blonde Danish fashion models sobbing their eyes out? I told them I wasn't going to give birth to them."

"""What is that, a banana? Aw, who gives a shit."" -Disinterested George"

"[date] Me: *ok don't let her know I'm a bull* Her: ""so what are some red flags for you?"" Me: *sweating* ""haha red flags? Where?"""

"Pedophilia You grow into it."

"[grandma's house] Little Red Riding Hood: Are you going to eat me? Wolf: I just want my hoodie back."

"Umlaut is a pretty fancy word for what are basically just letter nipples."

"You know what's the biggest turn off for me? Consent."

"Chivalry isn't dead. He's just sleeping. Right, chivalry? CHIVALRY!?"

"What's the opposite of quantum physics? Logic. (If you don't like physics jokes, just keep movin') ...(if you don't like math jokes, trust me, sometimes it makes a difference)."

"How many frat guys does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change the bulb and three to make a t-shirt about it."