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Joke of the Day
"Umlaut is a pretty fancy word for what are basically just letter nipples."
Next Joke
"The Human Centipede review I found it a little tongue-in-cheek... Source: Dad"
"I just ate a watch... ... It was time consuming. I'm thinking of going for seconds."
"Whats a Drummers favorite Pokemon? Rattata"
"Why did the gray whale go on a diet? Because he wasn't a Fin whale!"
"$500 worth of condoms and lubricant were stolen overnight from a Sydney sex shop. Police described the thieves as slippery,well covered,hardened criminals."
"Instagram is the most pleasant social media site because it's really difficult to take ignorant, racist pictures of dogs & brunch"
"My Parents asked me what i wanted for christmas... I said i want something to wear and something to play with. So they got me a pair of pants with the pockets cut out."
"I just freaked out! I woke up from a nap to find that my phone and wife were missing. It's all good though. I found my phone."
"Why did the man on a lake full of docks build another one He felt the peir pressure"