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Joke of the Day

"How did the hipster burn his tongue...? ... he drank his coffee *before it was cool.*"

"SM A Masochist walks up to a Sadist. Masochist: Hurt me. HURT ME! Sadist: No."

"some bitch dyke... ...filled up my mentions fggot fucker"

"*Kanye West's dating show* 10 women stand in front of me and I only have 9 roses. BUT WAIT... They're all for me *Kanye wins dating show*"

"What do you call a tenor with erectile problems? Flacido Domingo."

"The five second rule doesn't apply to babies. You can pick them up anytime after dropping."

"I'm a die hard Bruce Willis fan."

"10 year old: What was it like? Me: What was what like? 10: Being alive in the 1900's? Me: Go to your room."

"What happened to the two ants who got into a fight on a toilet seat? They got pissed off."

"I was going to make a joke about pepper but it was too insalting."