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Joke of the Day

"The five second rule doesn't apply to babies. You can pick them up anytime after dropping."

"Why did Hitler always win foot races? He was the fascist one."

"What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Poop, duh."

"""WHAT ARE WE TO TELL THE CHILDREN ABOUT GAYS MARRYING?"" Dunno. I'll ask my 5-year-old, who just married her stuffed bear to a stuffed pony."

"I wonder why call them backup vocals. Was there ever a time the lead fainted and the backup took over the mic and the show went on as usual?"

"I hope this free massage guy from craigslist is on time."

"I like my woman like I like my font Bold, black, and size 14."

"What do you get if you cross a rapist with a tractor? Fertilizer"

"I don't have a horse running in the Derby but my money is on Sarah Jessica Parker."

"Today there was a sale at the Maul Everything was half off"