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Joke of the Day

"I was going to make a joke about pepper but it was too insalting."

"It's so cute how fish just can't contain their excitement when you cuddle them."

"another candidate got the job i applyed for at Senate Office whomever you are, i hope your happy with that analist position you stole from me."

"Why did the president start the bar fight? So he could pass the bill."

"What did the call of duty player say to his girlfriend about gaining weight? EX SO FAT"

"Me and my girlfriend always wanted a baby. We tried really hard, but nothing worked. We finally got one when we expected it the least! BAM, over the whole windshield."

"What's the difference between a whale and a toaster? You didn't pop out of a toaster."

"How many Mexican reposters does it take to make me mad? Just Juan"

"Me: Look. There's a deer. Hunter: Don't spook it. Me: *slowly stuffing a werewolf mask back into my backpack*"

"What's the definition of relative humidity? Sweat on your balls when you're doing your sister."