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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a tenor with erectile problems? Flacido Domingo."

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"Why are people in wheelchairs always getting taken advantage of? Because they're easy to push around and never stand up for themselves"
"I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it."
"[Picking up girls] Me: you like bad boys, huh? Girls: yea Me to my wing man: tell them Wing man: he's just literally the worst"
"What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunji cord? My ass. LAWL"
"No officer, my car was already upside down when I got here."
"A farmer walks past a tombstone that says: Here lies a lawyer, an honest man, a man of integrity. The peasant crosses himself and says scared: ""Blessed Virgin, three men buried in the same grave!"""
"Mao Zedong, Stalin, Hitler, and Ellen Pao walk into a bar... (user was banned for this post)"
"What makes a salami excited? When the ham is cured!"
"Hot Pringles in your area want you to jam your whole fist in their cans."