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Joke of the Day
"How did they get John McAfee out of Guatemala? McAfee Removal Tool"
Next Joke
"Me: I love you! Girlfriend: Is that you, or the vodka talking? Me: It's me...talking to the vodka."
"Intellectual Jokes as in: Yo mama so wide she didn't fit through the Thermopylae Pass or she so fat she didn't fit through the last circle in Dante's Inferno. Let's get this thread ballin'."
"My girlfriend laughed at me for having an existential crisis at 17. Jokes on her. She doesn't even exist!"
"I've spent today analysing some statistics about how drunk people walk. They're just staggering."
"I dunno but if I was a ""doctor to the stars"" I sure wouldn't be bragging about it these days"
"If a grandpa has a child with his granddaughter he's a great grandpa... but a horrible father."
"Awww it's cute how your baby pulls my hair. Like she doesn't realise I will pull hers right back."
"What do you say when your neighbor's 5 year old goes missing? Nothing."
"I need to stop seeing caution tape as some kind of finish line."