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Joke of the Day
"I've spent today analysing some statistics about how drunk people walk. They're just staggering."
Next Joke
"What is the greatest part about women's hockey? Their pads last for three periods"
"I wish Twitter would add bold or italics or meaning to my life."
"In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized."
"Why do men like blowjobs? It's the only thing that they get something straight inside a woman's head."
"A cannibal passed his brother in the woods."
"I once wrestled an anaconda for 3 days... Then realized I was masturbating."
"Hey, yeah I'll be ready in a minute. I'm just going to shower and jerkoff. just kidding, I'm not going to shower"
"Hillary Clinton's autobiography should be called, ""Sisterhood of the traveling pants suit""."
"Why couldn't the pregnant horse sing? Because she was getting a little hoarse"