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Joke of the Day
"Why are cats against abortion? Because they're CATholic"
Next Joke
"How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Stick a nipple on it."
"I remember the last thing my grandfather ever said to me before he kicked the bucket... He said ""Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""
"*sees a guy snap fingers at a server. I reach for my bag* Wife: No. We only have one left. We have a baby. Me: (to genie) take his fingers"
"Whoa. Wait a minute. So those stick figures on your car aren't for pedestrians you ran over? Damn it! *starts scraping off her stickers*"
"I never date girls from china... That's a big red flag."
"Never test the depth of the water with both feet."
"A blind guy walks into a bar.. And a table.. And a chair.. And a desk"
"Reports coming in from Detroit that during his visit to the church, Trump was AXED.... ....a lot of questions."
"Villain: We meet again, Mr. Bond Bond: You don't remember my 1st name do you Villain: Sure I do. It's uh.. Bond: C'mon this is our 3rd fight"