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Joke of the Day

"I remember the last thing my grandfather ever said to me before he kicked the bucket... He said ""Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"Politicians hate each other more than they love America."

"I had to stop eating alphabet soup. I kept developing a vowel blockage."

"The only way I'm coming to your wedding is if YOU get ME a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do."

"There is nothing more enjoyable than watching a child being chased by a seagull."

"Don't trip Don't trip Don't trip Don't trip Don't trip again Don't trip again Don't trip again Don't trip again - me running up the stairs"

"On Halloween, how do skeletons call their friends? With their iBone."

"Did you hear about that new bald eagle poison? It's illegal if you use it."

"Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends."

"What type of road race do Donald Trump supporters run? 3 K's"