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Joke of the Day

"Never test the depth of the water with both feet."

"A patient comes to a doctor and says: ""Doctor, I think I'm a moth."" ""Well, you'd better go to psychiatrist. Because I'm a dentist."" ""Yeah, but you had the light on."""

"I'm the Nokia phone in a room full of iphones"

"Accidentally pushed the premium gas button and now I'm worried my car is high."

"Son asks his father... Son: Dad, how do you feel about abortion? Dad: Ask your brother. Son: But I don't have a brother. Dad: Exactly."

"I wonder how many calories you burn locking yourself out and having to climb in through a second story window.??"

"""I'm in the best shape of my life!"" -Newborn baby"

"Nothing beats the last 30 seconds of a close basketball game. They should just make all games 30 seconds long."

"Why does the Pope only eat munchkins? Cause they're the holy part of the donut!"

"What do corals get stressed about? Current events."