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Joke of the Day

"Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money."

"Dear ladies, if you want to have more free time and have fun on the weekends, teach your men fishing!"

"Where do you find 100 fat cows? At bingo"

"BEANS & ONIONS Q: What do you get when you mix beans and onions? A: Tear gas."

"Had a fight with a janitor once, wiped the floor with him"

"A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a library.... The librarian stops them. ""What, do you think this is a BAR?"""

"Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween confused? Because: 25 DEC == 31 OCT Merry Christmas Fellow Nerds! :)"

"So I have one coworker who uses ""irregardless"" and another who uses ""unappropriate"" and now I'm over trying to conversate with these people."

"What are you supposed to do when someone is having a seizure in the bath? ...throw a load of dirty laundry in."

"Reason for ER visit: Injured in a masturbatory frenzy Again."