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Joke of the Day

"Reason for ER visit: Injured in a masturbatory frenzy Again."

"[at bar] Him: Why's a pretty girl like you sitting all alone? Me: I peed my pants."

"Girl if you though you saw the whole bakery, you ain't seen muffin yet"

"My new mixtape is called GPA... And it's about to drop"

"Got told this at work today all the guys thought it was funny and so thought iI'dput it to the vote? What's the best part about having a hooker die on you? The second hour is free."

"I have a photographer's memory Or is it photographic? I always forget."

"Apparently, 4 people die every year trying to put their pants on... - me, explaining to my (ex)boss why I went in with no pants"

"Julius Caesar sashays into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says ""Five beers, please!"""

"Doctor: I'm glad to say the ear operation was a success Patient: WHAT"

"Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead."