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Joke of the Day

"Dear ladies, if you want to have more free time and have fun on the weekends, teach your men fishing!"

"I went for a swim with my daughter... I felt a warm pocket of water in the waves and yelled at her ""Did you just pee in the ocean!?"". ""No"" she said ""the seaweed"" True story."

"Hows a forwardly plural Hitler hailed as? Shitler"

"I run sentences together on purpose so you don't get a chance to pause and change your mind about reading whatever it is I'm not saying."

"Hear about that Saudi girl? Sunnibody try to kill her, but Shiite"

"What do you call a police officer that doesn't get out of bed? An under cover cop."

"I was leaving the golf course yesterday... when I ran into a guy whose face was all scratched up. I was like ""holy shit man your face is all bloody, are you ok?"" ""Yeah, but I just blew an eagle on 18"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Adeline ! Adeline who ? Adeline extra to the letter !"

"Why couldn't the FBI find Sepp Blatter's bribe money? He used it all to bribe Canada to host the Women's World Cup."

"9 yo: Hey dad, where is the rest of that ladies bikini? Me: That is actually called a G-string, son. 9: Oh, does the ""G"" stand for gross?"