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Joke of the Day

"Been talking to this girl for 10 mins and she hasn't slapped me OR called me ""gross""... Hope she's ok with the names I picked for our kids."

"So an outstandingly goofy and silly monkey farts and backflips to a store with fruit. He's going BANANAS!"

"Overheard from a 14 year old: Why does Donald Trump watch the Olympics? To see how high Mexicans can pole vault"

"There is nothing worse than running out of toilet paper and having to ask the guy in the next stall to wipe you."

"I'll never be as horrified as the kid who suddenly realizes they've been following the wrong ""mom butt"" at the grocery store."

"There once was a lady named Lucky Who used dynamite to give herself fucky. They found her vagina, in North Carolina, And one of her tits in Kentucky"

"What do you call a homeless Italian man? Giovanni Change"

"The irony of war is that The ones who are right are the ones left."

"They say I can take the catheter out next week. And no, I'll never piss on an electric fence again"

"I get about your body being a temple but... right now I wanna turn mine into a bouncy castle, it sounds more like fun. I'm all about fun."