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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a suicidal cat? Curiosity."
Next Joke
"I heard there's a machine that can make cocaine in less than 4 milliseconds! I believe it's called the Instagram."
"Q: What did Snow White say when she dropped off her film? A: ""Some day my prints will come."""
"I hate when people talk behind my back. They disscuss me."
"Me on New Year's Day: 2016 is so going to be my year! (Morgan Freeman narration): 2016 would not, in fact, be anyone's year."
"I hate when I'm spying on someone while they're showering and they let out a huge fart. What a sicko."
"I used to think an ocean of soda existed. Turns out it was just Fanta sea."
"Engineers How do you tell if an engineer is an extrovert? They look at *your* shoes while they talk to you."
"Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because his pecker is on his head"
"[soldier making lunch] Now for some avocado [grabs grenade] oh oh, if this is here then that means [cut to soldier taking cover for 5 hours]"