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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because his pecker is on his head"

"Before you pride yourself on being a big fish, make sure you're not swimming in a puddle."

"lady at table behind me: sometimes babies get gassy. they can't burp so they get mad and cry me, turning around angrily: its not JUST babies"

"What do you call a pig with three eyes? ...A piiig"

"Pugs. Because you can't own E.T."

"I'm not saying I've had a lot to drink, but my foot just fell asleep so I drew dicks on it."

"Dear Grocery Bagger, Please don't put dryer sheets and bread in the same bag. My kids don't like peanut butter & Spring Meadow sandwiches."

"Anyone hear the one.. Anyone hear the one about the messy bed? Yeah, I made it up."

"If you're hot I'm going to follow you. nnnnJust like I do on twitter."

"Donald Trump For President! That was the joke"