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Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side (as in, heaven). Congrats you've just learned why that joke is that joke. Have a good day, faggot."

"Waiter what is this stuff? That's bean salad sir. I know what it's been but what is it now?"

"My wife left a note on the fridge that said ""This isn't working I'm going to my mom's"" I opened up the fridge. The light was on and the beer was cold. I'm not sure what she was talking about."

"I had a rough childhood. I couldn't play with toys that required supervision I only had regular vision"

"My lesbian friends just got me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood me when I told them ""I wanna watch."""

"What is gray and comes in pints? An elephant! edit: maybe I should say what is gray and cums in pints?"

"What is the only inedible part of a vegetable? The wheelchair"

"What do you call it when a psychic midget escapes from prison? A small medium at large."

"Hey guy that puts the stickers on tomatoes, nobody likes you."

"What's the etiquette on petting a baby that's been leashed to the bike rail outside Starbucks?"