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Joke of the Day

"My lesbian friends just got me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood me when I told them ""I wanna watch."""

"A dad walks into a room seeing his daughter masterbating with a cucumber. He said: ""I was gonna eat that, now it taste like cucumber"""

"Working in porn for the free sex is like working at Chipotle for the free burritos Yeah, you're getting paid, but it destroys your asshole"

"Saw Harry Potter. *SPOILER ALERT* ZERO tits."

"#BrexitIn5Words He's just not into EU"

"It must be hard to send Barack Obama a Thank You card without sounding sarcastic."

"I'm starting a tent business. My first sales event will be called the ""Tent Offensive"""

"Fun Fact: It is annoying that some people think facts are fun."

"I wouldn't say I ""missed"" your call."

"honey i shrunk the oreos just kidding they're mini oreos stop crying"